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Calling all MaMas!!

12 posts from 10 voices
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  1. Pandask31
    #

    I have been riding since I was like 3 or 4 years old... LOVED it ever since. Every guy I've dated has had a motorcycle and finally in January 06 I got my own I just LOVE to ride and that I know you can all understand So heres the deal . . .

    I had my first baby 3 months ago... I was unable to ride during my pregnancy (I tried tho! LoL) and was VERY eager to get on the bike again However, when I finally got the chance - I was TERRIFIED!! I did ride, with my man that is, but I was very scared, nervous and could hardly enjoy myself!? I finally relaxed a little (thanks to a beer HaHa) but I am in no hurry to do it again. In my mind I lust after a nice long ride and I want so badly to have someone watch our son for a few hours so we can go up in the mountains... But the moment I go to grab the phone to try to arrange such a thing I freeze. Paralyzed at the thought of my son being made an orphan.

    Its different now? I have never really considered motorcycle riding this extra risk or dangerous, but now I obviously do? I know and trust Joe very very much. I know he is a GREAT rider and would do everything within his capabilities to ensure our health and safety ... But all those stupid drivers out there . . . And the more I read about this texting problem.... Ugh. I just dont know...

    So, ladies, tell me you have been through this, felt the same way - Please? And tell me how you got back on the horse?

  2. Suzhipiger
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    It's not really any different for men who have a child and have to decide if they're going to ride or not.

    Even in our modern, liberated society men still often bring home the larger half of the household money, and do many of the more physically arduous chores around the house. So men also ask themselves "Is it right for me to ride? What happens if I die in a wreck? Who will provide for my family?"

    The entire first half of my adult working life was spent on submarines, living in apartments so I didn't really have the time or space for bikes. Once I shifted to the reserves and bought a house, my kids were 14 y.o., so I started riding. People still lectured me on how dangerous it was, that I'd make a widow out of my wife and orphans out of my kids.

    Your choice is pretty basic:

    Get over it and ride. Buy a large insurance package and select god-parents that you really trust. Ride with your head out of your a$$, pay attention, don't take stupid risks. Ride confidently and without fear because fear will screw you up as badly as complaceny and overconfidence.

    or,

    Sell your bike and plan a year upon which you plan to reenter the riding scene when your kids have reached an age at which you are confident that they could be self-sustaining, and could deal with the loss of a parent. Raise your family with a goal of riding in the future.

    My personal opinion is that any of us could be snuffed out at any time no matter how cautious you are. If you want to live in a bubble, that's your business.

  3. lem23
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    I also use this reasoning whenever I am confronted about riding being dangerous. At any time I could die, I could walk out to get the mail and get hit by a drunk driver, I could have a heart attack in my sleep and die, I could be at the bank depositing a check and be shot by a bank robber. Riding while more dangerous then riding in a car, is not THAT much more dangerous, doesnt matter if you are riding in the biggets heaviest suv out there, get t-boned by an 18 wheeler and you wont come out any better looking then a motorcycle rider would. As parents you should at all times be prepared for the worst, life insurance + a plan for your kids, not just cause you ride a motorcycle, but just in case anything happens. For example even though my wife and I have not yet had kids, we have talked with her father and dsicussed with him if he would take care of our kids shuld anything happen to us.

    In my opinion, if you have a plan for your kids should anything happen, and you wear safety gear and drive defensively, there shoulndt be much more risk to your family's well being driving a motorcycle instead of a car.

  4. DJinNH594
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    Paralyzed at the thought of my son being made...

    Since I have my Raider, I loaned my XS1100 Special to my brother who was going through his first divorce (rookie).

    He gave up riding bikes many years ago after some guy came across the line in a slow speed area and hit him head on. My brother launched over the handlebars and landed head near the front of the hood, butt through the windshield. His injuries cancelled any thoughts he had of joining the USAF.

    So my intentions were to get him out riding again to help him get through his divorce.

    He ended up telling me he didn't want it anymore as he was too afraid his two sons may lose their dad.

    I've got two sons of my own and I have to tell you, the thoughts crossed my mind as well. I figured, we can't sit around living in a coat of bubble wrap. Something bad can happen anywhere, anytime.

    My suggestion, live your life, take precautions when you can, but you can't just sit home and end up unhappy.

  5. Sdar462Donna
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    I am a grandmother and now LOVE LOVE LOVE riding. However, when my kids were younger I would have been terrified at the thought of them getting on a bike.. (they were crazy). They never rode & now I do.. funny how life changes.

    I understand about it being risky because of other drivers... and being so new. MY ADIVCE:
    You have to just be EXTRA CAREFUL about where you ride til you get your skills up.
    TAKE THE MOTORCYCLE RIDE COURSE.
    Always wear protective gear,
    Always ride along with someone - not by yourself
    Make out a will.

    Life is dangerous anyway.... Riding a motorcycle is a great stress reliever and lots of fun. I hope you can start back up.

  6. RitkeRunner
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    I know of two people who had just been 'tested' by doctors for insurance purposes that died within 2 months of being told they were in perfect health.
    Buster, a biker for years who had been in several wrecks, died last year of brain cancer.
    Roy went to the hospital because he was'nt feeling well. He never came home & 2 weeks later, he died.
    Tom Nix, who owned & published SaltWater Angler with my wifes' assistance, made plans with us for the next ten years on a Tuesday, died on his way to pick up his magazines Thursday morning.

    Some of these people rode, some didn't. Three were younger than I am now. None died riding.

    You never know what can happen. If I die today in a wreck on my bike, celebrate the fact that I left this world doing something I loved.
    As you can see from above, few people do.

  7. zmogejyoe
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    Agree with everyone's comments about taking it slow and regaining your confidence. While men have the same responsibility issues with a young family I suspect there can be something more to the mother-child bond with a newborn that men do not usually experience; so your feelings are very normal. The more things you can do to reduce your risks when riding the easier it will be for you, and if that means waiting longer to get back on the bike that is ok too.

  8. Pandask31
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    I plan to take a safety course to help regain my confidence. I already have god parents I love and trust and I am making a will now ...
    I got some really great advice - Thank you everyone
    I definitely dont consider riding a more extreme danger than anything else...

  9. Shebhertezz
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    Pandaks47, I've already posted some things on your other threads re this so won't repeat those here.

    I didn't start riding til I was 55 (last year). My kids are 21, 25, 27 (I think). But I've often wondered if I would have taken up riding if they were still dependents. I never even considered it then tho b/c of time and money. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I was in your shoes then. zmogejyoe is right about the strength of a mother-child bond being special. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that from what you said in your post, you AREN'T ready to ride yet. Maybe if your newborn was an older child it would even be different for you. Newborns are so dependent and really need their own mom. All I can say is trust your gut - it will never let you down. If you have to stop riding for a year or so, do it. That year is a blip in light of the years of riding you'll still have left. If all it's going to take is what some have suggested about taking it slow and the MSF course, do that. It's what YOU'RE comfortable with. There's no shame in making a hard decision that you feel is best for your family but others may disagree with.

    A scared nervous driver is not a safe driver. You motherhood instinct is telling you something. Listen.

    I had posted a similar request on YMF last year about taking a long trip as a newbie that I just didn't feel ready for. (Some will remember that.) I got mixed responses, but looking back I am so glad I trusted my gut and didn't go. I was not ready (some of it due to fear as a newbie) and my gut was screaming that to me.

    I find it interesting that most of the responses so far aren't from "mama's". Only you can make that decision. Trust your gut. Riding isn't fun when you're worried about a baby at home and you're riding scared....

    That's my 2 cents...

  10. 4mrAkankmpr
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    Well, I'm not a 'mama' either (boy, if I were, I'd be FAMOUS!), but I'll have to agree with Shebhertezz on this issue. I stopped riding from '97 till '08 due to conditions somewhat out of my control, but the instincts came back quickly after I restarted riding. Gut instinct is often the best, and your instincts as a new mother are the strongest, so go with them. Be a good 'mama'!

  11. Pandask31
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    Newborns are so dependent and really need their own...

    Thank you Shebhertezz .... Your completely right I think some of the ideas I got were great, and I will apply them. However I will never ignore my feelings and will only go when I feel fully ready. My hunnie and I have planned to get on the bike today, we may only run out for lunch... Or we may go out to superstition a little I dont know... But I can trust 2 things... My instincts are never wrong and when I ask Joe to stop and turn around- He will do so without question or hesitation. And as for riding alone? Well I wont trust myself for a long time. I am too distracted. I would be so concerned with killing myself that I would do something very stupid and surely get myself killed -Im convinced. LoL

  12. vito54
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    I had my first baby 3 months ago......

    First things first....congrats on the birth of your son. You have so much fun coming your way.

    I was unable to ride during my pregnancy (I...

    Shebhertezz said it best:

    A scared nervous driver is not a safe driver. You motherhood instinct is telling you something. Listen.

    I cannot relate to this as a mother, but can as a parent. When my wife started joining me on the bike (2up) our main concern was that the ramifications of a crash were much different if it affected both of us. We worried about that a bit and decided that all we could do was lessen the risks: We skip riding during summer holiday weekends (too many extra drunks on the road), no night rides (deer are horrible out here), stuff like that. We are ok with that and ride accordingly.

    Good luck with your decision. Your son will be fine.....he picked a good mom.

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